Ross Jeffries 5

How To Overcome Anxiety And Fear With Women

Dear Speed Seduction® Student
One of the most common scenarios students present me with is
this:

"I do fine if I am introduced to women or already know them. But walking up to a stranger, dead cold, in any situation, scares the bejezus out of me. I just can not do it. What can I do to resolve this?"

Over the years, I have seen this question or variations on
it more times than I can count.

If you have felt shy, anxious or even afraid of women, especially beautiful ones, I can assure you that you are far from alone. In fact, I would have to say that fear and shyness around women is so common among men, it's close to being an epidemic.

Now, this "fear factor" can strike guys at different stages. For most, it has to do with the initial approach/ice breaking. For a few guys, approaching is easy, but they freeze up when it comes time to making that serious physical pass.

Wherever you may be having your "fear" or "shyness" or "freezing" problem, the good news is that there are powerful solutions to this that can get you going rapidly in the direction you want, without fear, shyness or shame.

I am here to tell you that you can rapidly overcome all of this, just as thousands of guys I have taught have done. I can also assure you that this kind of fear effects guys from all walks of life, from rich to poor, from unathletic dudes to even former U.S Special Forces soldiers.

Yes, I mean guys who would have no problem jumping from planes, running through mind fields and dodging bullets have flat out told me, face to face, women scare them silly. The good news, this can all be rapidly overcome with some awareness of how you are producing your shyness and fear and a little retraining of your mind.

Your Fear Is Not A "Thing"

Here is why: "fear" and "shyness" or "hesitation" are not THINGS that happen to you even though it may seem that way.

Remember we spoke in a previous issue about how a woman’s "feelings" don’t just happen to her by some mysterious magic, but are the result of a recipe or process she runs on herself?
It’s the same for any kind of feelings, positive or
negative, that anyone experiences.

Remember this rule for personal change; whatever it is that
is troubling you, has a structure and a process, and that it means it can be changed, and even blown apart.

You don't have a bunch of "fear" or "shyness" or
"hesitation" fluid running through your body, like transmission fluid in a car that some mind mechanic has to drain out so you can then be "confident". "Fear" or "shyness" or "hesitation" are internal mental processes that you DO to yourself.

You don't HAVE "shyness". You DO "shyness", usually so
quickly and outside of your awareness of how you are doing it that it seems like something that is just happening to you.

I repeat it again: all humans have their "recipes"-
internal mental processes they do to themselves that produce the final resulting "feelings" of fear, confidence, assurance, calm, etc.

So you too have some internal "recipe" that produces your shyness, or hesitation or fear. .
This means that by changing one or more of the elements of your recipe-how you are talking to yourself, what you are visualizing, the flow of energy in your body or your posture and breathing, the resulting "feelings" that come out the other end can be rapidly and radically changed, even if you have suffered from them for a lifetime!

Here’s A Method Guaranteed To Work!

We'll examine how to do this in detail, but I want to talk about the most powerful and easily shifted element of any internal "fear" recipe. It's one that most people never even consider, but I will explain not only how to use it to immediately rid yourself of all fear and nervousness around women, but also the science behind it so you will know WHY it works.

I'm talking about the power of your breath. You can look at your breath as the single key ingredient for controlling and designing your state of mind with women. Why is this? Simply because the part of your brain that controls the fight or flight response-that rushing of adrenaline that makes you shake, get short of breath, feel jumpy and want to run from a woman, or just get passive and withdraw-that part of the brain is intimately linked to your breath.

Put simply, you cannot go into the "flight or fight"

response if you learn to control your breath. Control the breath in any situation and you will remain calm; if you've studied any kind of martial arts, you already know this. By controlling your breath and cutting off the fight-flight mechanism, you activate the creative and adaptive layer of your brain, the layer of the brain that is relatively new in terms of evolution.

This layer of your brain can is the same part that helps you think on your feet, adapt to the situation in front of you, remember to try new behaviors, etc. It's also the part of your brain that lets you come up with exactly the right move or exactly the right thing to say an hour after the woman has walked away and you've already calmed down!

We want you calmed down, immediately, so you can take advantage of and enjoy the new skills we'll teach you to succeed in every situation! Is this all making sense?
Can you now imagine the power of remaining totally calm, relaxed, confident and secure, in every situation with women?

Now, please remember, this is a practice. Retraining the
brain takes some focus, discipline, repetition and time, but it can be done. So do this as a practice, ten minutes a day, every day, for at least the next 2-3 weeks and get ready to enjoy the results you will feel!

A Breath Practice To Destroy All Fear With Women
The first thing I want you to do is take a deep, deep breath in through your nose. Do it right now as you read this. As you breathe in, do it by expanding your rib cage and imagine you are breathing into the center of your chest. Complete the inhale by expanding your belly and pushing it out. Now hold the breath for a just a moment. Begin exhaling, also through your nose. This time, when you exhale, pull your belly toward your spine. Empty your lungs of air and at the end of the exhale, pause for just a moment.

Notice how you can feel that calm moment of silence at the end of the inhale and the end of the exhale.

Ok. Here comes the piece we want to add in. This will really help totally disrupt your fear response. Take another inhale, just like last time, through the nose. This time, as you do, imagine there is a soft line of energy moving down the front of your body and imagine it pooling in the space between your belly button and your pubic bone. In the martial arts, this place is known as the hara, or t'an t'ien.

Imagine it swirling there in a clockwise or counter clockwise direction. Either way will work.

When you are finished inhaling, hold the breath for just a moment and feel the calm and silence. Now, when you exhale (through the nose), pull your belly toward your spine and imagine a strong line of energy-an energy of strong will and intent-moving from the small of your back, up your spine and straight out through the top of your head.

Feel the strength up your spine and your clarity of mine when you do this strong exhale.
Please note here, when I say "imagine energy" what you ought to do is see some kind of color or feel some kind of feeling-like warmth or heat or tingling, or even a combination of both. It doesn't have to be vivid or super-real; just an idea that this is happening will do.

The keys here: when you inhale, the energy you feel or
imagine is soft and relaxed and moves down the front of the body. Almost like a feather brushing the surface of your skin. You imagine it gathering, pooling and swirling in the space between your belly button and pubic pone. When you exhale, the energy going up the spine is inside your body, in your spine, rather than on the surface of the skin. And it is strong AND calm.

A relaxed determination. By the way, energetically speaking, this is what women mean when they say they want a guy with "backbone"!!)

They are using a metaphor to describe something that is
quite "energetically "real) When you really feel this calm, relaxed, determined feeling, put the fingertip of the first finger of your right hand on the tip of your thumb and touch it gently. As the feelings increase, increase the pressure of the fingertip against the tip of your thumb.

You have now created a "calm/confident' anchor for yourself, so when you find yourself in a real world situation with women that's a bit scary, simply do one of the breath cycles (inhale and exhale) as you place your thumb and finger tip together.

Increase the pressure of fingertip against thumb to increase the feelings of calm, confident power. I want you to practice this breathing for 10 minutes a day, sitting comfortably or standing.

Ok. Once again, I’ve overloaded you with information (you should see me at one of my 3 day seminars!). Once again, print this newsletter out, take some time to study it, and re-read it a couple of times again!
Till next issue,

Piece and Peace,
Ross
P.S. Want to wipe out your fear of women in minutes? Check
out my new Fear Into Charisma video(with free viewable clips) at http://www.seduction.com/feartocharisma.asp
This newsletter and all its contents are copyright 2004,
Ross Jeffries. This newsletter may be reproduced and reposted in any format, provided it is done so for free, all links are left intact, and proper credit is given for authorship. To subscribe to this newsletter in the event you are reading it from a third party website, please go to: http://www.seduction.com
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Ross Jeffries 4

What To Do When She's Cold On The Phone

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Recently, I received the following email from a member of the on-line Speed Seduction® discussion group.(Yes, we actually offer round the clock, 24 hour
encouragement, advice on support with and for thousands
of Home Study course owners around the world! How's that
for backing up our clients and our products?)

Anyway, he asks about an important issue: what
happens when a woman who was initially warm to you,
suddenly turns cold on that first follow up phone call?
Many guys blow this "test" and wind up walking away from
some potentially awesome women and fun, fulfilling
relationships. So let's hear what he has to say:

Hey All,

After learning SS for four months, I have gotten
some pretty exciting results, specifically people react
to me in a completely different way. I am able to get
rapport and talk to women easily. Also, when I do two
brothers, the ideal relationship (put it in my three
fingers and eat it) and the energy demo, I generate
attraction. I have gotten good at this and at
generating big interest as well.

I met a girl at the coffee shop. After meeting her
and talking for a long time (like an hour) and running a
bunch of patterns, two brothers, energy demo, self
pointing, massaging the back of her neck, etc. I got her
really going. She was having fun, she like me, rapport
etc. She wanted to give me her number and I get it.

But when I called her back two days later she was
not interested in meeting. When I call her, what is the
best way to take her back to our last meeting? What are
the best things to say to make her go back to those
states? What are the best things to do during our first
meeting to make sure that she will want to meet up with
me in the next few days? What is the best message I can
leave to make her call me back and want to meet? (This
assumes we can't just change venue. Of course changing
the venue instead of getting her number is better.)

Thanks,

G.


Good question, G.

Sometimes, people change their minds. It can be for
ANY reason. You can do EVERYTHING perfect and still you
will not get the girl; you will get good practice and a
chance to polish your resourcefulness.

I also can't tell whether you got her on the phone
or left a message, so PLEASE clarify and maybe I can
help further.

Generally, if women are polite but seem
disinterested, my response is, "Hey, no problem, no
strings. I just thought you could REMEMBER THE FUN TIME
WE HAD...and IMAGINE ENJOYING MORE..but, best to you,
you have a good one."

No bitterness. No fear. No rancor. Just, ok, guess
you just didn't get it or maybe you are just having a
bad day.

Now, it is a DIFFERENT story if she is rude, and ice
cold when I call. I've had THAT happen too, and it can
be a shock when it is such a turn around from the first
responses she had at the first meeting. Then my response
is: "Wow...what a rude, cold way to have to PRETEND to
be. Have a good day".

Then hang up. If she's just being defensive or
insecure you've given her a chance to apologize and come
round. Notice the word "pretend" which implies you think
she's not really this way, but capable of better.

Understand, some women are super-moody. Some have an
initial interest, but their fears of intimacy or their
frozen nature just takes over. Some just think they are
entitled to treat the world like crap. If she calls you
back with anything other than an apologetic tone, hang
up on her and write her off. Trust me, you don't need
the trouble or bother. Move on with the gift of your
skills and find someone more fun, more pleasure, less
bother.

Make sense?

For you at home, reading this, understand that an
important, but often neglected part of learning success
with women is SCREENING. Learning to look for what you
want and also what you will not put up with, and then
sticking to you guns.

I will put up with women being ordinary humans, and,
like all of us, having bad moods and bad days. That's
just being wise and using your compassion.

I will NOT put up with women who are perpetually
frozen, emotionally cold, think they are God's gift to
men, have wild and frequent mood swings, etc

Remember as you move up the learning curve with
Speed Seduction®, YOU HAVE A GREAT GIFT TO OFFER. Don't
give it or continue to offer it to those who rip off the
wrapping only to use it for toilet paper.

Peace and piece,

Ross Jeffries

P.S. To enjoy incredible seduction mastery, learn
just what you need to, in order to have power, choice
AND incredible self-respect with women, check out your
Speed Seduction Home Study course right now. Remember
you get unprecedented 24 hour customer support, advice
and encouragement athe online discussion group when you
BECOME A HOME STUDY COURSE OWNER TODAY. Just click here:
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P.P.S. Already have a HSC and want a recommendation
for a hot follow up product? Check out the amazing, hot
off the press, Advanced Irresistible Arousal DVD:
http://www.seduction.com/products/rj183.asp


Special note: this newsletter, and all contents, are
copyright 2005, Ross Jeffries. You may reproduce, post
and otherwise share this newsletter in any form in any
medium, provided all content, including all links,
remain intact, proper authorship credit is given, and
the newsletter is given away for free.

RJ


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Ross Jeffries 3

How To Get Any Girl Steaming Hot, In MINUTES!

Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,

In the last issues, I laid out the basic operating theory of Speed Seduction: that women have internal, subjective "recipes" for love, lust, chemistry, attraction etc that they run on themselves quite outside of their conscious awareness.

I pointed out also a that this "process" produces the "feelings" that they base their actions, decisions and choices on when it comes to us poor horny men!.

Therefore, as smart guys, we are no longer going to be
fooled by "dating" thinking or "dating" questions which entirely ignore this vital information about how women get "feelings" and what is really important for us as seducers to think about.

So instead of being what I call A.F.C's(Average Frustrated
Chumps) we are going to learn to enter of the world of Speed Seduction® and learn to rapidly trigger these internal feeling recipes that produce these feeling "states" so we can quickly and easily enjoy power, choice and variety with women most guys just have to wish and long for.

The key then is to ask the question: What kind of "states"
do I want this woman to experience with me? And how can I trigger these states using my language: the themes I talk about, the stories I tell, the descriptions of my experiences I give, and the questions I ask?

You see, one key secret to getting a woman to undergo all
her internal feeling recipes or "states" is..

GET HER TO TALK ABOUT THEM!

Yes, my friends, old Guru Ross clears up another mystery
here: by talking about "feelings" women tend to unconsciously trigger their internal feeling "recipes" or processes, which then of course..

Makes the Feelings More Vivid And Real!

For men, talking is mostly about conveying a message or information. It can be the same for women, but much the time, talking is their way of unconsciously triggering these "recipe" programs that run outside of their awareness, so they can..

Enjoy These Intense Feelings Again!

What I am saying here is that there is an actual ongoing
brain process where-by the language centers of the brain, when triggered by speech, somehow stimulate or cause her internal feeling recipes or processes for love, lust, atraction(or any other strong feeling state, positive or negative) so that these processes get run again and she can have the "feeling" experience.

Hey..I just explained TWO mysteries: why women are so "into" their "feelings" and why they love to talk so much! Nobel Prize, anybody?

Ok. Let's now give you a peek at some of the actual Speed Seduction® tools you can use over coffee, on a first meeting, or wherever you find yourself talking to a woman.

The first tool I want to introduce you to is conversational set ups and themes.
You see, it usually isn't considered normal or socially acceptable to launch into immediate discussions of have women
experience "attraction" "chemistry" "connection" or "lust".

As important as these experiences may be, you need some way
of introducing them into conversation so you appear to be a normal, non-threatening guy.

So let me introduce you to some key part of the Speed Seduction framework. In the brief example below we'll talk about conversational set-ups, quotes, embedded commands, priming patterns and trigger questions. Used in combination, these can get a woman to unconsciously run virtually any feeling recipe/state so she has the resulting feelings that will lead to the behaviors you want.

Conversational Set-Ups

Conversational set ups allow you, after just a bit of small talk, to bring up those themes, subjects and topics that are far more likely to trigger these "states" we are after in a woman: deep rapport, comfort, connection, fascination, lust, desire, chemistry etc.

Again, they let you avoid the taboo against discussing such things right off the bat or discussing them directly with someone you just met. And you can't just walk up to a woman and command, "YOU WILL FEEL LUST FOR ME".

A good way to bring up these "heavier" topics is to use a pattern called quotes. Quotes involves simply quoting a conversation or topic that you were having with a friend, or something that you heard in a seminar or read in a magazine or saw on t.v.

Quotes allow you to naturally bring up almost any topic in a non-threatening way. Why? Because you aren't addressing something to her directly. Just quoting what you said or heard said. So it is less threatening.

Also, we tend to use this pattern in language naturally all the time ANYWAY, as in, "Did you hear what Ross said to Rachel on "Friends"? etc etc.etc. The unconscious mind tends to recognize patterns of communication more than it does actual content. So if it feels to the unconscious like a natural pattern of comunication(quoting someone else) then the actual content becomes a lot more acceptable.

So let's say you want to trigger that subjective "state" in
a woman that involves feeling like there is a wild adventure- a real opportunity she has to act on RIGHT now or she'll lose it forever.

Here's how to use quotes to bring it up,
"You know, I was having the most interesting discussion the other night with an old friend I had not seen in years(Conversational set-up, quoting you and your friend)
The next thing we are going to do is use a bit of language I call a "weasel phrase".

Weasel phrases just set up the person to make a deep search of their inner experience without making it seem like you are giving a direct command.

You can't directly say, for example, "I command you to go inside your memory and remember what it is like to feel something and then feel that way with me".

Instead, when you use the weasel phrase "have you ever" it
is actually a command but it sounds like an innocent question.

For example, if I wrote, "Have you ever read something and
it just seemed so fascinating, you realized you want to learn more/"
It's actually a command to go into your memory and recall
it, but it is much easier to disguise the command into the form of a question about your experience because that way you don't resist it.

Make sense? Let's continue with our example
"By the way, HAVE YOU EVER just had a friend, and you could just FEEL SO COMFORTABLE…FEEL SO CLOSE(embedded commands-giving her commands to feel comfortable and close by bringing up the situation and hiding the commands inside a description of the situation-sneaky, isn't it).

You could just FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANTHING?(another command to feel free to talk).

Notice here we threw in a few suggestions and commands: FEEL SO COMFORTABLE. FEEL SO CLOSE. FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING.

We didn’t suggest or command directly. We hid them inside
that "have you ever" weasel phrase-something that looked a question about her experience but was actually a command to go inside and search her memory.

Sneaky, sneaky, I know. But it works. Onward.

"So we were talking about how sometimes life presents an opportunity..and you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to have an adventure, you'll lose it forever.(focusing in on the topic now)

Ok. Now we are going to use a "pattern" or priming example: this is a description of your experience or someone else's experience. It is designed to "prime the pump" and begin to activate the structures of her brain and mind that produce and run her "recipes" as we discussed in the last newsletter.

"Like for example he was telling me how he had a chance to take a police car for a joy-ride..and how he could just FEEL THIS EXCITEMENT(another command embedded in your story) and it was just like this other part of him came out and he had to take this ride."

Note that little bit about "take this ride"-said with the right tonality it becomes a piece of sexual metaphor. This a way to help guide the "recipe" process towards triggering something that will produce sexual feelings. Note that it is not guaranteed to do this, by itself. It is just priming the pump. A start.

Now we are going to use "have you ever again" again to get
her to talking.

Why?

Because please remember it is by talking women revivify and trigger their most intense and important feeling processes/recipes.

When she talks about her processes and "recipes" and experiences, she can experience the intense feelings we want her to have, and then we can link them to us.

Using "Have You Ever" A Second Time
We've used "have you ever" once to begin to prime her
memory. Now we use "have you ever" again but this time it will activate those feeling recipes and processes by getting her to talk about them.:

"So I think because you can learn a lot about a person from that, have you ever had an experience like that..where you just had to go with an adventure that was in your path…take a ride that just seemed so irresistible?"

What have we done here? In just a few minutes we:

1. introduced a topic, guided her memory and imagination for
a very important and powerful feeling "recipe" and process
2. gotten her to talk about it to revivify it and make it real again, all in what sounds like an innocent and completely normal conversation.

Not bad at all. Considering you can learn to do this in a 20 minute conversation, and you begin now to see the potential for unleashing your love life!

One more point: when you watch a woman as she describes
these experiences, you will see her begin to strongly have these feelings. Often her face will flush, her breathing will get heavier, and she'll get what I call DDBL or the..

Doggie Dinner Bowl Look!
This is an expression similar to the ones my Dalmations I
had as a kid would get when I would show them the can of dog food through the window so they knew it was feeding time!

Now, once a woman is experiencing these strong feeling
states in your presence, because she's running her internal "feeling recipe" it's really only a short matter of time before you are baking your brownies in her oven(to use a metaphor again!).

Remember: women act on strong feelings. As long as the feelings are there, as the end result of her running her internal "recipes" she will not in any way realize or know how they came about.

She will only feel them, feel happy they are there and feel glad that you will be feeling her in all those ways her nice guy "friends" will never get to.

Ok. I don't want to overwhelm you . The study of using conversational set ups, quotes, priming patterns, embedded commands, command questions and other tools-this study is the core of Speed Seduction. But do go out and try some of this stuff and you'll be shocked to see it works and works amazingly well.

Just remember a key rule: Speed Seducers never communicate just to be flapping your lips.

Communicate with an outcome in mind so you can direct and trigger her feeling "recipes" in the direction you want, you the result you want is what you get!
Til next time,

Peace and piece,

Ross

See previous article

P.S. As I said in a previous issue, this way of speaking may seem strange to you as a guy, and that is a GOOD thing. It's not
supposed to be the kind of thing we GUYS respond to. It IS what women love, what triggers their deeper level emotional centers, and what stimulates their fantasies and sexual desires.

YOU DON'T BAIT THE HOOK WITH WHAT YOU LIKE TO EAT, to use a crude metaphor that I hope will not offend. If this seems strange to YOU, so much the better!

That's actually a good reason why you must try it; what is different from what we are used to doing brings us results different than what we are used to ENJOYING! Think about it!

Or better still, jump on over to: http://www.seduction.com/products/rj87.asp
and get your Home Study Course today!

Notice: this newsletter, and all contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. This newsletter may be reprinted, reposted or republished in any format or forum, without prior consent, provided it is given away for free, all links and notices are kept intact, and that proper credit is given for authorship. In the event you are reading this newsletter from a third-party website, you may subscribe for free at http://www.seduction.com/
Straightforward Inc
822 Eagle Point Road
Van Alstyne
TX 75495
United States

To stop further mailings or to change your details visit: http://getresponse.com/r/-3d/9/l7br-F3mE